apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize