the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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