I'm sorry my penis didn't work
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
That accounts for only three of the penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize