we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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