God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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