you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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