Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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