what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize