Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
They took my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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