he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize