she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize