Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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