like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize