Already got asked if we're dating
your thong is hanging out like whoa
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize