did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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