Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize