Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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