I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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