wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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