Midget sex pt 2 tonight
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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