2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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