tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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