i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
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And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
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I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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