I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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