I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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