If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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