bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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