I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
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I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
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The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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