She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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