I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had hair everywhere except his balls
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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