Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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