How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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