fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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