Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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