I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
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I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
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At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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