dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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