I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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