summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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