suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
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Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
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As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize