I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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