please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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