Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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