I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
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If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
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you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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