I don't usually arrange sex via text message
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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