Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
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Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
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His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
COCAINE IS GR8
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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