They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize