Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize