i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
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My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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