I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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