she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I have so many feelings about this burrito
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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